Monday, July 28, 2008

By Special Request

I should be working on my query letters and revisions, but that's not as much fun as writing the book was so, thanks to my darling friend Lin, who reads this blog but refuses to comment, here is my list of ways to hide the nerdiness. Hopefully you will all find this helpful.

Please comment, Lin. Please.

Step 1. and this is the most important one - get some GBF's (Gay Best Friends). These unfailing barometers of coolness are the best tool in hiding your inner nerd. The nerdier you are, the meaner they need to be though, or you might fail in your venture. You need someone who will not hesitate to tell you if you step over any lines. They are also handy when getting dressed and buying shoes (I love you B.)

Step 2. Do not, and I repeat, do not, ever mention in polite company the fact that you:
  • read the Twilight books
  • read the Harry Potter books
  • listen to podcasts on these subjects
  • listen to podcasts
  • have a great affinity for opera and classical music
  • used to want to be a backup dancer for Michael Jackson
  • are writing/have written a book (until you are published and successful)
  • Think that Nip/Tuck is the best show ever
  • are going to see Journey in concert this weekend
  • think that youtube is God's greatest creation, besides red wine
  • write a YA blog
Crap, I have totally screwed up this step. Oh well.
Step 3: Do not drink too much in public due to the fact th`t it loosens your tongue and you may, like me, screw up step 2
Step 4: Always erase your Internet history. You never know when someone will borrow your computer to check their facebook page and find out that you've been frequenting
Step 5: Always wear high heels. Unless you're a dude. Or you're working out, because that's just tacky.
Step 6: Stop quoting lines from A Tale of Two Cities, Pride and Prejudice, and Jane Eyre at your husband when you feel like you need a little romance in your life.
Rinse, and repeat steps 1-6. Feel free to print them out and tape them to your refridgerator next to your signed photo of the Jackson 5. When you get the hang of it let me know, and I'll give you some more homework. Good luck!